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Social Justice. Donald Trump. Queer Voices. Black Voices. Latino Voices. Asian Voices. HuffPost Personal. Special Projects. Project Zero. You can also send and receive txt and SMS type information aka pics. The reason you should consider using a trick phone will become clear in the next few tips. At least for the initial meeting, it is strongly encouraged that you meet at a public place.

Do not invite the person to your home and do not give out your home address. Remember, the moment you give a stranger specifics about where you live, they now have identifying information that can potentially be used to bully, harass and threaten you. No matter how hot he is or how horny you are, please do not give this information out for your own sake.

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On the other side of the coin, think very carefully about meeting at his place. Remember that if you meet in a public place, you have far greater control over the situation. Once you are in his home, you lose much of that power. When you start talking with someone online, be it on the computer or a phone app, you should think very carefully about what you provide. I am suggesting this because you have no idea who you are talking to on the other end of that electronic device. If a person has your real name, they have something personal about you that can later be used in a way that con artists and other criminals know how to use.

If you do not want to use a fake name, just give out your first name and nothing else. If you send a stranger an X picture that includes your face, you have just given that person the ability to potentially extort from you. Do a quick search of the Internet and see how many times this has happened to people. If you must send out pictures of yourself and want to include your face, consider upper torso shots only.

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In other words, do not send anything you would not want your boss, your grandmother or your co-workers to see. I recognize here that people are likely saying to themselves. That is the problem folks, you have no idea who you are dealing with on the other end of that computer or phone. They can send you a dozen photos of themselves but that does not mean that is who they say they are and that does not mean the pictures you are seeing are of them. Why would you give a stranger something explosive to use against you? A buddy system is a 25 cent term for letting a close friend know trust that you are going out on a hook up.

Tell your buddy the time, place and location of your destination and make sure you check in with them.

Consider creating a code-word that you can use with your buddy that you can quickly say or text to let them know you are in trouble. Also, after the hook up, make sure you contact your buddy and let them know you are on your way home, regardless of how the hook up went.

Romance is just a swipe away

One other tip that some people suggest is to text your buddy a photo of the person you are going to be hooking up with. For what it is worth, there will at least be an image that can be used by police if something bad happens even if the image is fake, it has likely been used before by the person. This is an obvious one but needs to be listed.

If you are drinking out at a bar, do not jump on one of your phone apps looking for a hook up.


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Your judgment is likely going to be impaired and if you are drunk or even a little tipsy, you are a major target for the freaks, psychos and criminals who are looking for their next victim. How good is that hook up going to be anyway when you are drunk? When you are texting with your potential hook up, be aware of his intent. Is he asking you if you party?

That is a warning sign he may be looking for drugs. Is he saying he only sleeps on the bottom bunk — ask yourself: Has he been using something that prevents him from doing anything else? He is looking to dominate? If so, is this something you really want to do with a total stranger? One way to screen for problems is to take the time to talk to the person on the phone. This means old fashioned voice communication. If so, simply tell them it is not a good match and politely end the call. Now you know why I suggested using a trick phone.

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Last point here — if they refuse to talk on the phone, consider this a major warning sign of trouble and discontinue communication! This is perhaps the most important tip of all. If you feel something just seems weird or are concerned in anyway about your personal safety, call off the hook up. You are not obligated to follow through.

This point is very simple — listen carefully to your inner voice. I have more weight, more credit card debt, and a little less hair.


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I also know myself better, have traveled the world, made friends from all walks of life, and got a lot better in bed. Gay guys share their dating app horror stories I worry that I was also too picky when I first got my account in I had a weird hangup about height before. So, I thought I needed a guy who was at least five foot ten. I have since discovered that this thinking is getting me nowhere. Right then… I also arbitrarily mandated that I had to date someone who a has terrific diction b has Harry Potter hair, and c attended a Top 25 undergrad?

What was I thinking? Knowing myself better now, I would probably have a better shot with a shy bald guy who lives with his parents to save money. And yes, this column is a bit of a thinly-veiled personal ad in and of itself. So, what do you say? I love Welsh Corgis and I have all of my own original teeth. See you on Tinder! Brent Lomas is a communication professional with particular interest in education, housing policy, and the arts. Brent has hosted regular cabarets and fundraisers at Bar Thalia at Symphony Space as his alter-ego Ruby Powers since Yes, it happens but it can also wait.

When I met my husband we waited for 5 weeks it just happened that way and we found NO reason to rush it with talk of it because it is a natural thing but it is unnatural to devise a way to achieve it.

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They hoard pictures and chat…let me just say STOP that crap if someone can chat with you for two hours via messages but has the most outrageous schedule when you ask them to meet is a BS artist. Now you can shovel that if you want but wear gloves and protective shoes. When you delete the apps and allow yourself to be YOURSELF in the 3D world, saying hello, laughing and interacting with people the 2D work of clicks, pics and dicks will seem utterly pointless.

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