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Young men can think this is normal. It's not, and often they discover this too late with drug and sex addictions at dangerously high rates.
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From someone that has battled addiction myself, I've worked with '56 Dean Street' to help those in a similar position. My work has shown me that gay dating apps have a detrimental impact on our community.
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Research has shown that for some, especially those with addictive personalities, the adulation and 'hits' received on these apps is as destructive as any other addiction. Part of rehabilitation now involves removing hook-up apps altogether. People caught in this cycle leave their phones on permanently or overnight, they wake-up to see how many messages they have, it takes over lives.
I recently, conducted a survey, in collaboration with David Stewart and '56 Dean Street', to highlight the dangers of gay dating apps. Up until two years ago, the term 'chems' could be freely used on profiles, there's now a ban on this. Whilst this is progress, an erect penis on a profile is moderated but, talk of drugs still gets through - they're especially present in private chats.
Over the course of the survey, I was only online for an hour each day, for three days. I was offered drugs times - those numbers are staggering, it's a drug dealer's paradise!
There are apps out there that are trying to take a different approach. I discovered Chappy recently - all profile pictures must show a face, putting an end to the sea of anonymous users.
All profiles must be verified via Facebook - making everyone much more accountable for their actions, behaviour, and conversations. They've seen what I've seen and felt there is a way for gay men to date in the modern world without losing our integrity in the process.
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They have an option to meet a 'Mr. Right' - someone looking for relationships over a hook-up. There's no unsolicited dick pics and there's an actual moderation system in place. About 5 minutes after I set up my profile I was pleased to see I had already received several messages. Did I dare to go on? So I went onto the next. Onto what seems to be the major competitor for Grindr; Scruff. I was even more pleased to see someone had written me to say hello.
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How much what? I quickly closed the app and moved on. Is this what gay men have been doing online, just living out a virtual dick and ass showing contest? Pondering what the state of affairs was, I decided to try out another app, maybe something more subdued.http://checkout.midtrans.com/mujeres-solteras-manos-en-santacara.php
I gave up dating apps for a week and this is what happened - INSIDER
Like the other apps I set up my profile and was ready to go. It took a day to start receiving messages, but when I did I was surprised and delighted to find out that people here were actually writing full sentences, they wanted to know how I was, and no one sent me a photo of their dick.
I felt refreshed…. I then made it know that was my intention. It seemed as thought there were a lot of people looking for prince charming, and that, I am not. While I and apparently several of my friends thought that tinder was an app for straight people, I found out that infact it for us gays too.
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